Bill Maher’s Grammy Glow-Up: New Categories We Actually Need
Bill Maher, the king of no-holds-barred commentary, has done it again. On a recent episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, the outspoken comedian decided it was time to shake up the Grammy Awards by suggesting some much-needed new categories—because, let’s be honest, do we really need another generic “Best Pop Vocal Album” when the real drama happens offstage?
One of Maher’s best zingers of the night? A brand-new category for “Best Song That Trump Got Sued for Playing at His Rallies.” Now, that’s a category worth tuning in for. If we’re keeping track, the former president has ruffled the feathers (and legal teams) of more artists than an overzealous wedding DJ with no Spotify Premium. From Queen’s We Will Rock You to Tom Petty’s I Won’t Back Down, the cease-and-desist orders could probably fill a Billboard chart of their own.
But Maher didn’t stop there—he had a whole lineup of hilarious Grammy shake-ups that would actually make the awards watchable. Here are just a few that deserve serious consideration:
🎶 Best Song That Nobody Actually Knows but Somehow Won a Grammy – You know the one. It’s playing in the background at Whole Foods, but if you had to name the artist, you’d panic and say, “Um… Coldplay?”
🎶 Best Collaboration That Was Clearly a Marketing Stunt – Looking at you, artists who drop a feature just to boost streaming numbers. When Ed Sheeran collabs with a kazoo-playing AI bot, we’ll know we’ve gone too far.
🎶 Best TikTok Song That Will Be Forgotten in Six Months – If a song goes viral but nobody remembers it by next year, did it even exist? Asking for every hyper-pop artist who had their 15 seconds of fame.
🎶 Best Song Lyric That Sounds Deep but Means Absolutely Nothing – Every alternative rock band and pop diva has at least one of these. “We were stars in the moonlight, burning like forever’s touch.” Okay… but what does that even mean?
🎶 Best Live Performance That Got Completely Overshadowed by a Wardrobe Malfunction – Janet Jackson walked so every viral outfit disaster could run.
Maher’s Grammy category ideas may be jokes, but let’s be real—they’re not that far off from reality. If the music industry really wants to stay relevant, they should take notes. Until then, we’ll be waiting for the Best Song Used in a Political Ad That the Artist Publicly Denounced category to make its debut. It’s only a matter of time.